It's Time

I've been out of work for about a year now. I started off on medical leave for health issues that didn't allow me to return to work before my allotted time off was up. It's been an interesting journey trying to figure out, essentially, what I want to be when I grow up. I used to think I'd be a librarian, as I had worked in a library from the time I was 14 to the time I was 20 and loved every bit of it. Plus, I'm quiet so everyone thought I just "fit" in a library. But, I realized that wasn't what I was meant to do. Then, since I loved learning about medical issues and advances, I thought about nursing and soon successfully completed the Certified Nursing Assistant program. I said "goodbye" to the library and worked at the local hospital for the next three years while working through my pre-requisites for the nursing program. I was set on being a nurse. I felt passionate about it; I love medicine, I love the way the body works, and I love taking care of people and comforting them. But, at the end of my second year as a Nursing Assistant, I started experiencing health problems that made many day-to-day tasks difficult, especially those at my job. About a year later, I knew I just couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't safe for me or for the patients. So I took leave, got a great doctor, but still wasn't ready to come back weeks later. And I knew in my heart that I wouldn't ever go back. I knew it would be hard to tell others that I wasn't going to be a nurse anymore, but I knew that I wasn't. That I couldn't. And that the plan had changed. For the better.

I've spent the last year at home, learning more about myself and my passions and skills. I won't pretend to know what our future holds, but I know where I'm meant to be in this moment. And I know that one day I will be a stay-at-home mother. I will take care of my home and make it a beautiful, loving place for my husband and children. I will use my hands and my skills to help my family in all the ways that I can. And right now, I'm beginning that journey. I know this is where my heart is and where I am meant to be. It may not sound practical and I know there are many out there that think it financially impossible, but it's not. I firmly believe this is my path, and that God will honor that. I always looked at the Proverbs 31 woman and thought "no woman can live up to that", but I tell you she can. It makes sense to me now. She is a woman who uses her hands to mend and make clothing for her family. She works out in the field to bring in food and profit for her family. She sells her works to bring profit to her family. She cares for her home and for her marriage. These are the things I hope to accomplish. I'm definitely not saying it's wrong for a woman to have a career. Different people are called to different roles in life. I believe I was meant to have my job in medicine to help me to better talk to and love people better and to prove to myself that I could do whatever I put my mind to. But, now I'm called down another road. And it's time to start this new season of my life. It's time to prepare for my future so that I can be able to stay home with our children. It's time to follow my dreams.

That being said, it's time to make the jump. I've spent the past year planning and creating and deciding what I would use as part of my Sweet Pohickery business, but I've been too scared to stop planning and start doing. But, it's time. I'm taking the plunge. The Etsy shop I've had opened since August will finally be up and running this week. I feel like saying it here on the internet gives it power. THIS WEEK. There. Now I can't get out of it. Like I said, I've been battling some health issues that have made things difficult, but I'm ready to push myself. I'm starting with some easier things and will work my way up from there. I will be selling canned goodies, domestic goodies (dishcloths, aprons, etc.), prints, and maybe even some photographs. I'm really excited about all of these things, especially because I absolutely adore making them. Also, Lucas and I are accepting any requests for photography gigs with our company Martyr Media (contact: starr@martyrmedia.com) and I am looking forward to expanding the baking side of things as well (if anyone is interested in baked goods I can be contacted at sweetpohickery@gmail.com). Sweet Pohickery will also be present at craft and baking shows later this year. For some reason, people aren't really into craft and baking shows around here in the winter, I guess since they can't have them outdoors. But, I'm greatly looking forward to all of the post-snow shows. I'm in love with baking, but I need to start baking for other people so that I stop eating it all myself:] I'm working on getting more promotional materials together for Sweet Pohickery as well and will be incorporating some of that into my blog in the next few months.

This blog entry was really scary to write. Things are happening! Big big things. But it's wonderful.